Thursday, November 3, 2011

My Week

Highlights of my last week include, but are not limited to:

  • A really, really awesome Halloween
  • Assisting my kids' school nurse with vision screening of about a bazillion first and second graders  
  • Multiple incidents of my nine year old son sharting in his pants while trying to get to the bathroom (not exactly a new issue, but one we haven't had to visit for a long time, though in my not-so-humble opinion not long enough) 
  • A revelation from the nine year old that he doesn't want to poo at school for fear of the toilet overflowing, so he's simply been pinching his penny and holding it in
  • Asking previously mentioned nine year old if he needed an enema (I dare say, if you haven't had the experience of having such a conversation with your child, your parenting journey is not complete... and I wish you an incomplete journey)
  • A call from the school nurse (after school was out, but before the kids had arrived home on the bus) telling me, that, despite the fact that she'd received a call from Jerod's teacher saying he was headed to health office and looked sick and pale, she'd never seen him  (Don't worry if you're confused.  This one still confuses me.)
  • A call less than a minute later from the bus barn saying that Jerod was feeling very, very bad on the bus, so the driver was re-routing the whole load of kiddos so that Jerod could be dropped off next
  • The sinking feeling of putting 2+2 together and realizing that my kid DID indeed need the enema, but I had been too spineless to push the issue because, let's face it, who REALLY wants to administer such a procedure on her own offspring
  • The even more sinking feeling of realizing that my spinelessness resulted in my kid becoming so backed up with poo in his rectum and intestine that he was having severe cramping and pain so intense that he could barely walk off the bus and needed to be carried into the house by his mom and would, eventually, vomit due to the extent of discomfort
  • A trip to the ER 
  • Jerod barfing all over the scale at he ER (then looking up at the nurse with his sweet, pale, sick face with tears welling up in his eyes and saying "I'm so sorry.")
  • A different nurse, who, bless his heart, had a horribly over-simplified view of this issue and repeatedly insinuated that the reason we were facing this issue is that Jerod is a couch potato and plays too many video games.  
  • An absolutely incredible P.A. who more than made up for the shortcomings of the stupid nurse.  Needless to say, this situation sucked on about a bazillion different levels.  However, it did lead me to that rare experience of seeing someone doing what she was no doubt born to do.  Her bedside manner was unparalleled to any I've ever seen... simply amazing.  
  • An enema administered by the stupid nurse, and the subsequent elimination of what seemed to be two metric tons of poo; immediately after which, Jerod said, "I can walk, I can jump, I'm HUNGRY!"
  • The pleasure of getting to call my kid's teacher for the 'I don't know what your policy is, but if J needs to go to the bathroom, then, for the love of all that's good and holy, let him go to the bathroom' conversation
  • A reminder of how much it sucks to be in a hospital with a sick kid, how incredibly exhausting it is even when the issue is minor, and how unbelievably blessed I am to have kids who are generally healthy and happy
  • A reminder of how fortunate my family is to have insurance and access to quality healthcare... ya know, for when I completely drop the ball as a mom and my kid needs to go to the ER for an enema


Since I'm blogging for the first time in ages, I'm going to go ahead and throw in some Halloween pics.