Prison Talk

One might think the most challenging part of this chapter in life is talking about it, and that is true.  Sort of.  Actually, once you decide to talk about it, the discussion tends to not be too terribly difficult (though this could be because I've become somewhat desensitized to the situation).  What IS difficult, however, is knowing who to talk to about it, when to talk to them, how much to tell.

When it first became apparent that Uncle M was in trouble, our first instinct was to tell no one.  There are lots of reasons for this, but as I so often say, that's a post for another day.  Anyhoo, we initially chose to deal with the situation internally.  Bad idea.  Internalizing something you're feeling so viscerally leads to stress, anxiety, and an extremely foul mood.  I'm not saying it's not ok to be in a bad mood; but when you're perpetually in a bad mood for months on end, and people around you don't know why, relationships suffer.  I think, in looking back, I can say we didn't suffer any friendship casualties related to this; but many were strained for quite some time; which I attribute to us not sharing what we were dealing with.

Eventually, we did come to a point where we told people.  In fact,I hit a point where I really didn't care who the hell knew.  What was once a closely guarded secret, I will now discuss with anyone who wants to know more.  However, that doesn't mean everyone needs, or even wants to know.  The big issue I deal with is not wanting to talk about it, not because I'm hiding it, but because talking about it tends to make the person receiving such news pretty damn uncomfortable.  Imagine someone you know throwing it out in conversation that they have a loved one in prison.  How would you respond?  Even having been on this side of it, I don't know the answer to that.  And, when the hell do you bring up such a topic?  During joys and concerns time of your parenting support group?  Over dinner or drinks with friends?  At your kid's parent teacher conference?  There simply is no good time to throw that into a conversation.

Tune in next time for a report on how we finally did come to tell boy child's teacher of the situation.  It's a doozy.